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제목 help, please 등록일 2016-06-13
내용 The first time I used a smartphone was approximately 17 years ago when I was a heah of a small town.
I often went on a business trip in a city and my colleagues in office wanted to get in touch with me, so I bought it.
At that time, mobile phones were not popular and many people didn’t have them.
Their functions were just texting, sending and receiving calls.
But nowadays, we can do lots of things with mobile phone.
I’ve already mentioned. The function of mobile phone is similar to that of computer. The harmful effect of mobile phone is social problem. There are no communication with face to face among people.
They just talk with mobile phone like kakaotalk.
Children enjoy playing the game from mobile phone.
Some children are dangerous in mobile phone addiction.
담당강사 Hunter1 등록일 2016-06-14
첨삭 내용

Great job, Rose!

The first time I used a smartphone was approximately 17 years ago, when I was head of a small town.
I often went on business trips, and my colleagues wanted to get in touch with me, so I bought a phone.
At that time, mobile phones were not popular and many people didn’t have them.
Their functions were just texting, sending and receiving calls.
But nowadays we can do lots of things with mobile phones.
The function of a smartphone is similar to that of computer. Te downside is that mobile phones causesocial problem. People do not communicate face to face anymore.
They just talk with mobile phone apps like kakaotalk.
Children enjoy playing games on mobile phones.
Some children develop a dangerous mobile phone addiction.

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