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제목 I want to change the second sentence like this 등록일 2021-04-20
내용 The reason why I want to become a nurse is that I want to provide a mental and physical stability to the patients. This is because it is important not only treat patients, but also it is necessary to make them recover quickly . So I will create a pleasant environment and provide mental stability and I will check the patient’s condition frequently so that the patients can recover as soon as possible.
담당강사 Trixie 등록일 2021-04-20
첨삭 내용

The reason why I want to become a nurse is that I want to provide a mental and physical stability to the patients. This is because it is important not only treat patients, but also it is necessary to make them recover quickly . So I will create a pleasant environment and provide mental stability and I will check the patient’s condition frequently so that the patients can recover as soon as possible.

 

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The reason why I want to become a nurse is that I want to provide a mental and physical stability to the patients. This is because it is important not only to treat patients, but also it is necessary to make them recover quickly . So I will create (or make)  a pleasant environment and provide mental stability and I will check the patient’s condition frequently so that the patients can recover as soon as possible. (you can also use the word "quickly") .

 

this is already good smiley

 

 

 

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