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제목 The effects of poverty on an individual (1) 등록일 2022-04-27
내용 (Thank you for your advice, I'm trying to write well)
It seems to divide into two aspects for the effects of poverty on an individual.
There are the negative and positive effects.
The effect of negative is such as decreasing self-esteem, comparing of other people, and resentment of poverty.
Having no money means having to give up so many things such as the environment of studying, clothes, food, good service, and much of time.
Poverty makes conditions that can only compare “me without money” and “you with money”.
A Self-esteem might have been decreasing because of the comparison.
담당강사 Lisa1 등록일 2022-04-28
첨삭 내용

(Thank you for your advice, I'm trying to write well)
The effects of poverty on an individual can be divided into two categories.
There are negative and positive effects.
Negative effects include decreasing self-esteem, comparing oneself to other people, and resentment of poverty.
Having no money means not having access to many things, such as a good studying environment, clothes, food, good service, and time.
Poverty makes conditions that can only compare “me without money” and “you with money”.
Self-esteem tends to decrease when comparing oneself to others.

(I would suggest you consider the wording of this discussion. Poverty is not a choice that people willingly choose for themselves, and it sounds thoughtless to say that poverty has positive aspects. Think carefully about what you are saying and how you say it.)

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