People in Korea usually call May the family month because there are two holidays for family such as parent’s day, and children’s day, so we always have a family gathering together. This year, children’s day was Friday and we had a long holiday. We were supposed to make a chocolate pizza in a chocolate cafe on Friday. But, it has rained heavily like a downpour early in the morning. We were considering whether to go there or not. After considering/ thinking, we made up our mind to visit there. It was so much fun than we expected. My The apple of my eyes said “it was really unique and a memorable experience day.”

REVISED:

People in Korea usually call May the family month because there are two holidays for family such as parent’s day, and children’s day, so we always have a family gathering. This year, children’s day was Friday and we had a long holiday. We were supposed to make a chocolate pizza in a chocolate cafe on Friday. But, it has rained heavily like a downpour early in the morning. We were considering whether to go there or not. After thinking, we made up our mind to visit there. It was so much fun than we expected. The apple of my eyes said “it was really unique and a memorable experience.”

Hi Tony,

Thanks for sharing what happened during your long weekend. You were able to make a long paragraph and was able to explain things appropriately. Just to emphasize this part, "After considering, we made up our mind to visit there.", even though this is also correct, I tried to change it into "After thinking,we made up our mind to visit there.", so that it won't sound repetitive since you've already mentioned that word before the sentence. All in all, these are all appreciated. Keep going!

Teacher Neiz