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제목 | a diary on Monday | 등록일 | 2023-09-04 |
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내용 | I made up my mind to keep a diary on my blog in Korean, which what I thought long time ago because I have been eager to write down My thought at that time. It's doesn't matter whether it's long or short. One day when I get older, I want to read what I record and tell my adorable daughter my story that was written in blog. Let's begin. |
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담당강사 | Neiz | 등록일 | 2023-09-04 |
첨삭 내용 | I made up my mind to keep a diary on my blog in Korean, which
REVISED: I made up my mind to keep a diary on my blog in Korean, which I've been thinking about a long time ago because I have been eager to write it down. I was thinking at that time, it doesn't matter whether it's long or short. One day, when I get older, I want to read what I record and tell my adorable daughter my story written in the blog. Let's begin.
Hi Tony, Thank you for this compisition you've made, I appreciate it. As you can see, I changed some words here and added what I think would be more appropriate to what you want to convey in your sentence so that it would be more comprehensive. Nonetheless, I appreciate you for having a motivation to write on your blog. But I encourage you that when you write there, I know it would be in Korean, still it would be great that you practice to write as well in English on your blog because I believe you can do it. It doesn't have to be too long, but you can try starting with one to few sentences writing in English. Thank you!
Teacher Neiz |