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| 제목 | 0607 alternative energy | 등록일 | 2024-06-07 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 내용 | In the concerns of climate change and high oil price, the alternative energy is getting important. Several alternative energies are water energy called hydroelectricity ， solar energy and new clear energy. The first one is to tune the turbine and get the electricity by capturing the energy of the water and the second is to get the energy from the sunlight through the use of photovoltaic solar panels and the last one is nuclear energy, with which there are 450 plant all over the world. | ||
| 담당강사 | Jace2usa | 등록일 | 2024-06-07 |
| 첨삭 내용 | In the concerns of climate change and high oil price, the alternative energy is getting important. Several alternative energies are water energy called hydroelectricity ， solar energy and new clear energy. The first one is to tune the turbine and get the electricity by capturing the energy of the water and the second is to get the energy from the sunlight through the use of photovoltaic solar panels and the last one is nuclear energy, with which there are 450 plant all over the world.
The sentence has several grammatical and factual errors. Here’s a corrected version with explanations: ### Corrected Version
"In light of concerns about climate change and high oil prices, alternative energy is becoming increasingly important. Several forms of alternative energy include hydroelectricity, solar energy, and nuclear energy. Hydroelectricity generates electricity by using water to turn turbines. Solar energy captures sunlight through the use of photovoltaic solar panels. Nuclear energy, with about 450 plants worldwide, generates power through nuclear reactions."
### Explanations
1. **Starting Phrase**:
- Original: "In the concerns of climate change and high oil price..."
- Corrected: "In light of concerns about climate change and high oil prices..."
- **Why**: "In light of" is a more appropriate phrase to introduce the context. "Climate change" and "high oil prices" are better written in plural form to match the context.
2. **General Statement**:
- Original: "...the alternative energy is getting important."
- Corrected: "...alternative energy is becoming increasingly important."
- **Why**: "Alternative energy" does not need "the" in this context. "Becoming increasingly important" is a more natural phrasing.
3. **Listing Alternative Energies**:
- Original: "Several alternative energies are water energy called hydroelectricity ， solar energy and new clear energy."
- Corrected: "Several forms of alternative energy include hydroelectricity, solar energy, and nuclear energy."
- **Why**: "Forms of alternative energy" is more precise. "Water energy" is better termed "hydroelectricity." "New clear energy" is a typo and should be "nuclear energy."
4. **Describing Hydroelectricity**:
- Original: "The first one is to tune the turbine and get the electricity by capturing the energy of the water..."
- Corrected: "Hydroelectricity generates electricity by using water to turn turbines."
- **Why**: "Tune the turbine" is incorrect; "using water to turn turbines" is clearer.
5. **Describing Solar Energy**:
- Original: "...and the second is to get the energy from the sunlight through the use of photovoltaic solar panels..."
- Corrected: "Solar energy captures sunlight through the use of photovoltaic solar panels."
- **Why**: Simplified for clarity and conciseness.
6. **Describing Nuclear Energy**:
- Original: "...and the last one is nuclear energy, with which there are 450 plant all over the world."
- Corrected: "Nuclear energy, with about 450 plants worldwide, generates power through nuclear reactions."
- **Why**: "450 plant" should be "450 plants." The additional detail about nuclear reactions clarifies the process. |
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