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제목 0618 sandiego 등록일 2024-06-18
내용 San Diego Comic Con is a  big convention celevating multiple genres of television , movie and literature etc.
Their fans enjoys screening and taking pictures with their favorite stars, so that
this convention is crowded as much as has guinness world record.
But there are some critics against it, who think this convention is too crowded and expensive and others believe that it has forgotten its comic roots , focusing more on movies and television.
담당강사 Jace2usa 등록일 2024-06-20
첨삭 내용 San Diego Comic Con is a  big convention celevating multiple genres of television , movie and literature etc.
Their fans enjoys screening and taking pictures with their favorite stars, so that
this convention is crowded as much as has guinness world record.
But there are some critics against it, who think this convention is too crowded and expensive and others believe that it has forgotten its comic roots , focusing more on movies and television. The sentence has several grammatical and stylistic issues. Here is a revised version with explanations for each correction: **Revised Sentence:** San Diego Comic-Con is a big convention celebrating multiple genres of television, movies, literature, etc. Their fans enjoy screenings and taking pictures with their favorite stars, so this convention is very crowded, holding a Guinness World Record. However, there are some critics who think this convention is too crowded and expensive, while others believe that it has forgotten its comic roots by focusing more on movies and television. **Explanation of Corrections:** 1. **"Comic Con" to "Comic-Con":** Corrected the name to "Comic-Con," as this is the standard spelling for the event. 2. **"celevating" to "celebrating":** Corrected the typo. 3. **"television , movie and literature etc." to "television, movies, literature, etc.":** Changed "movie" to "movies" to match the plural form of the other genres, and corrected punctuation by removing the space before the comma and placing "etc." at the end. 4. **"Their fans enjoys" to "Their fans enjoy":** Corrected the verb agreement; "fans" is plural, so the verb should be "enjoy." 5. **"screening" to "screenings":** Changed "screening" to "screenings" to match the plural form. 6. **Removed "so that"**: It was unnecessary and awkward in this context. 7. **"this convention is crowded as much as has guinness world record" to "this convention is very crowded, holding a Guinness World Record":** Improved clarity and corrected grammar. "Guinness World Record" should be capitalized. 8. **"But there are some critics against it, who think this convention is too crowded and expensive and others believe that it has forgotten its comic roots , focusing more on movies and television" to "However, there are some critics who think this convention is too crowded and expensive, while others believe that it has forgotten its comic roots by focusing more on movies and television":** - "But" to "However": Avoid starting sentences with "But." - Removed "against it": Redundant. - Combined clauses for better flow. - Corrected punctuation and spacing issues.

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