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| 제목 | 0620 work life balance | 등록일 | 2024-06-20 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 내용 | work life balance is one of the most important thing in life and we spent almost a third of our life at work and because nowadays we could be connected anywhere and any time to the company, we would be easily over worked and some time be workholic ,just over working out of the legal working hours and then it affects our emotion and health and even our family, which is sort of worst case in a sense.so we need to manage its working schedule and take care of our work life balance for ourselves and our family. I think companies should set up the system to manage employee work life balance and | ||
| 담당강사 | Jace2usa | 등록일 | 2024-06-24 |
| 첨삭 내용 | work life balance is one of the most important thing in life and we spent almost a third of our life at work and because nowadays we could be connected anywhere and any time to the company, we would be easily over worked and some time be workholic ,just over working out of the legal working hours and then it affects our emotion and health and even our family, which is sort of worst case in a sense.so we need to manage its working schedule and take care of our work life balance for ourselves and our family. I think companies should set up the system to manage employee work life balance and There are several issues with this sentence, including grammar, punctuation, and clarity. Here is a corrected version, along with some guidance: Corrected Sentence: "Work-life balance is one of the most important things in life. We spend almost a third of our lives at work, and because nowadays we can be connected to the company anywhere and anytime, we can easily be overworked and become workaholics. Overworking beyond legal working hours affects our emotions, health, and even our family, which is the worst-case scenario. Therefore, we need to manage our work schedules and take care of our work-life balance for ourselves and our families. I think companies should set up systems to manage employee work-life balance." Guidance: 1. **Capitalization**: Start sentences with capital letters. For example, "work life balance" should be "Work-life balance." 2. **Subject-Verb Agreement**: Ensure that subjects and verbs agree in number. "thing" should be "things" to match "one of the most important." 3. **Verb Tense**: Use the correct verb tense. "Spent" should be "spend." 4. **Articles and Prepositions**: Use articles and prepositions correctly. "Out of the legal working hours" should be "beyond legal working hours." 5. **Punctuation**: Use commas and periods to separate ideas and clauses correctly. Break up run-on sentences. 6. **Clarity**: Make sure the sentence is clear and concise. Use appropriate conjunctions and relative clauses. 7. **Consistency**: Ensure consistent use of terms like "work-life balance" and avoid informal contractions like "nowadays" in formal writing. 8. **Parallelism**: Maintain parallel structure, especially in lists or comparisons, to enhance readability. | ||