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| 제목 | 0627 Vaccines | 등록일 | 2024-06-28 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 내용 | A British physician and scientist,Edward Jenner developed a vaccine for Smallpox for the first time. After observing that those who had been exposed to cowpox were not affected by the virus of smallpox, Edward Jenner could intentionally give someone a small amount of the cowpox virus to make them immune to smallpox, which was the great discover in the world. And about 200 years later, The world Health Organization announced that the smallpox was an eradicated disease in earth and nowadays it is mandatory in most countries that the children have to be vaccinated for various diseases. |
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| 담당강사 | Jace2usa | 등록일 | 2024-06-28 |
| 첨삭 내용 | A British physician and scientist,Edward Jenner developed a vaccine for Smallpox for the first time. After observing that those who had been exposed to cowpox were not affected by the virus of smallpox, Edward Jenner could intentionally give someone a small amount of the cowpox virus to make them immune to smallpox, which was the great discover in the world. And about 200 years later, The world Health Organization announced that the smallpox was an eradicated disease in earth and nowadays it is mandatory in most countries that the children have to be vaccinated for various diseases. The sentence provided has several grammatical errors and can be improved for clarity and correctness: **Corrected Version:** A British physician and scientist, Edward Jenner, developed the first vaccine for smallpox. After observing that individuals exposed to cowpox were not affected by smallpox, Jenner intentionally inoculated individuals with cowpox virus to confer immunity to smallpox. This discovery was groundbreaking. About 200 years later, the World Health Organization declared smallpox eradicated from the earth. Nowadays, vaccination for various diseases is mandatory for children in most countries. **Reasons for Corrections:** 1. **Comma Usage:** Commas are needed to set off the introductory phrase "A British physician and scientist, Edward Jenner," and to separate clauses appropriately. 2. **Capitalization:** Proper nouns like "World Health Organization" should be capitalized. 3. **Sentence Structure and Clarity:** The original sentence was long and fragmented. It lacked clear subject-verb agreements and coherence between ideas. 4. **Correct Verb Tenses:** The corrected version uses appropriate past tense ("developed," "observed," "was") and present tense ("is") where necessary. 5. **Word Choice:** "Great discover" is corrected to "groundbreaking discovery" for clarity and accuracy. 6. **Overall Flow:** The corrected version improves the overall flow and readability of the paragraph. | ||