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제목 0923 Aromatherapy 등록일 2024-08-23
내용 Aromatherapy is the way of easing and healing people with the scents of plants and the extracts of flowers.
Considered by many people to be a form of pseudoscience because of the lack of the evidence, but aromatherapy is documented as far as the ancient civilizations like China and Romans.
And it has been used by a lot of people to cure ailments and make them confortable from stress and anxiety.
Recently it is used among cancer patients as to be the remedy to the side effect of chemical treatment.
담당강사 Jace2usa 등록일 2024-08-23
첨삭 내용 Aromatherapy is the way of easing and healing people with the scents of plants and the extracts of flowers.
Considered by many people to be a form of pseudoscience because of the lack of the evidence, but aromatherapy is documented as far as the ancient civilizations like China and Romans.
And it has been used by a lot of people to cure ailments and make them confortable from stress and anxiety.
Recently it is used among cancer patients as to be the remedy to the side effect of chemical treatment. The sentence has several grammatical and stylistic issues. Here’s a breakdown of the problems and suggestions for improvement: 1. **First Sentence**: - Original: "Aromatherapy is the way of easing and healing people with the scents of plants and the extracts of flowers." - Issue: The phrase "the way of easing and healing people" is awkward and could be simplified. - Improved: "Aromatherapy is a practice that eases and heals people using the scents of plants and extracts of flowers." 2. **Second Sentence**: - Original: "Considered by many people to be a form of pseudoscience because of the lack of the evidence, but aromatherapy is documented as far as the ancient civilizations like China and Romans." - Issues: - The sentence is incomplete; it starts with a dependent clause but doesn’t have an independent clause following "but." - "The lack of the evidence" should be "a lack of evidence." - "China and Romans" should be "China and Rome" for consistency. - Improved: "Although many people consider aromatherapy to be a form of pseudoscience due to a lack of evidence, it has been documented as far back as ancient civilizations like China and Rome." 3. **Third Sentence**: - Original: "And it has been used by a lot of people to cure ailments and make them comfortable from stress and anxiety." - Issues: - Starting with "And" is unnecessary here. - "Make them comfortable from stress and anxiety" is awkwardly phrased. - "Cure ailments" might be misleading, as aromatherapy is often used as a complementary therapy rather than a cure. - Improved: "It has been used by many people to alleviate ailments and reduce stress and anxiety." 4. **Fourth Sentence**: - Original: "Recently it is used among cancer patients as to be the remedy to the side effect of chemical treatment." - Issues: - "Recently it is used" should be "Recently, it has been used." - "As to be the remedy to the side effect of chemical treatment" is awkwardly phrased and unclear. - Improved: "Recently, it has been used among cancer patients to help manage the side effects of chemotherapy." ### Revised Paragraph: Aromatherapy is a practice that eases and heals people using the scents of plants and extracts of flowers. Although many people consider aromatherapy to be a form of pseudoscience due to a lack of evidence, it has been documented as far back as ancient civilizations like China and Rome. It has been used by many people to alleviate ailments and reduce stress and anxiety. Recently, it has been used among cancer patients to help manage the side effects of chemotherapy. This version corrects the grammatical errors and improves clarity and flow.

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