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| 제목 | 0911 walkable cities | 등록일 | 2024-09-11 |
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| 내용 | Workable Cities are the ones which are well planned and constructed with footpaths, sidewalks, multifunctional buildings, local vegetation and some well made enviroments for walking. Walking is the smallest physical activity with several health benefits such as lowering body mass index, reducing the risk of heart disease and diabetes. In addition, walking to the destinations has another positive effect on local economy. Instead of reducing gas expense, walkers spends money in local markets. |
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| 담당강사 | Jace2usa | 등록일 | 2024-09-12 |
| 첨삭 내용 | Workable Cities are the ones which are well planned and constructed with footpaths, sidewalks, multifunctional buildings, local vegetation and some well made enviroments for walking. Walking is the smallest physical activity with several health benefits such as lowering body mass index, reducing the risk of heart disease and diabetes. In addition, walking to the destinations has another positive effect on local economy. Instead of reducing gas expense, walkers spends money in local markets. The sentence has a few issues related to grammar, punctuation, and clarity. Here’s a revised version and insights on the corrections: Revised Sentence: Workable cities are those that are well-planned and constructed with footpaths, sidewalks, multifunctional buildings, local vegetation, and well-designed environments for walking. Walking is a simple physical activity with several health benefits, such as lowering body mass index, reducing the risk of heart disease, and diabetes. In addition, walking to destinations has a positive effect on the local economy. Instead of reducing gas expenses, walkers spend money in local markets. Insights: 1. Consistency and Grammar: "Workable Cities" should be in lowercase ("workable cities") to maintain consistency. "The ones which are" should be changed to "those that are" for clarity and conciseness. "well made enviroments" should be corrected to "well-designed environments" to fix the spelling error and improve clarity. 2. Punctuation and Clarity: Added a comma before "and" in the list ("footpaths, sidewalks, multifunctional buildings, local vegetation, and well-designed environments") to enhance readability. Changed "Walking is the smallest physical activity" to "Walking is a simple physical activity" for clarity. "has another positive effect" was simplified to "has a positive effect" to avoid redundancy. "walkers spends" should be corrected to "walkers spend" for subject-verb agreement. 3. Additional Improvements: The phrase "Instead of reducing gas expense" was revised to "Instead of reducing gas expenses" for better grammar. "local economy" should be preceded by "the" to specify which local economy is being referred to. These revisions make the sentence clearer and more grammatically correct. |
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